Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
