i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
