We won't sleep together?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
