That's intense
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize