It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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