Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
