: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We named our party play list daddy issues
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
