So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
