You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
