I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dicks are not precious.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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