That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
