I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
