i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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