Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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