please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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