Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
