The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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