Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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