we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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