We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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