Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
