There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
