If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
