I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
