Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
