my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize