So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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