i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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