Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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