Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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