Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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