ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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