DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
