if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
