Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
