The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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