They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
