I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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