Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
