ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
