You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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