somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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