i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
