When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
