at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
...so i touched it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
