when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
