You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
