At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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