Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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