D3 body, D1 cock
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
did you just send me my own nude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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