Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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