Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
