He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
