Buhtt sex?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
