Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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