if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
