Buhtt sex?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
