I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
