I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize