I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His nipple licking is glorious
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