Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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