He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize