at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
