Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
