Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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