He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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