woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
