I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
